....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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