I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize