That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
