So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
