organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
