1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
