Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
