piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
