**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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