What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize