Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
