My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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