That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
