weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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