my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
