Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
