I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
