In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
