They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
