I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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