I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
