I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's the barista slut.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
