woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
