On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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