i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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