i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
