Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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