I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
