Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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