OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
