We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
