He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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