Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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