fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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