she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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