Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
