Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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