i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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