last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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