he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
