so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
