Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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