I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
