So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
