he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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