I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
