I'm so fucking centered right now
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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