I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
