ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
