Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
