My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
