He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
