Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
