Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
