she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
