I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
