So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
