I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Randomize
