The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize